This is Me....

Whoa...6 months since my last post...slacker here ~ Anyway, I'm going to try to blog a little more this year...and I mean actually blog. So, here goes...

Who is in your space?

I started my Mary Kay business back in April of 2011 and so far I haven't been very consistent or dedicated. Today I realized why. I don't have a goal. I sat and thought about it and honestly, I don't really have a goal for anything! I've never been good at the "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" question. I hate that question to be honest. I've never been good at the long term thing. I take things one day at a time and live my life in the present. I am terrible at saving money and terrible at planning for things that aren't happening right now.

This brings me to today. I attended a seminar on building my business and one of the questions was "where do you want to be?" Well, I have no idea! Yea, moving up and selling more and recruiting others and sharing the opportunity all sounds awesome and amazing and is something I would love to be involved with but, I don't know that I can see myself there. I sat and asked myself why it was that I really couldn't see the future. I'm still not really sure but, I do think that there is a tiny part of me that fears failure. Yes, me, I fear failure.

For anyone that knows me this is an odd statement to come out of my mouth. I took the Bar Exam 7 times and passed on the 7th time. Actually, it may have been 8...I lost count. I was focused on what I had to do, not focused on how many times it would take to get there. I had people in my corner telling me that I could do it. They didn't care how many times I had tried they were still behind me. So, why do I all of the sudden fear failure in something? I'm sitting here typing and I'm still not totally sure. I do think it may have something to do with those you allow in your space.

Thus bringing me to the topic of this blog. Who is in your space? Who do you allow to be around you and influence your mood and thoughts and actions? I'm talking about everyone you surround yourself with too. Co-workers, friends, family, etc. Are they positive people? Do they tell you of their success or do they do nothing but complain? In the last 5 years my life has had some pretty crazy ups and downs. (I'm still searching for the meaning behind the downs.) **Warning - Religion talk ** God puts people in our path for a reason. Some of them are there to help us and others are there to stall us. God allows you to choose who you want to keep around. Do you allow the devil to put those negative people in your path and let them stay? Or do you keep moving? Do you rise above the negative and shoot to find the positive people? I know I have my days where I just want to sit and sulk and sometimes I allow myself to sit in that for a little bit. It is almost like a break from working hard to stay positive and find the good in everything. My best friend likes to joke that I am too nice. No, I just prefer to not waste my energy on negative people. It takes a lot out of you to stay mad at someone or harbor anger. It is easier to just push that aside and search for the positive, even if that means leaving that negative person behind.

So, I sat and made my little boxes and filled in those that I speak to on a daily basis and then those that I talk to on a more limited basis. I looked at each person and realized who was a burden and who was a positive influence. You can't change people but you can limit your contact with them and you can choose if you keep them in your life. This is where I sit now. I have to make decisions on if I want to keep those in my life that more of a burden than a benefit. It is these burdens that are dragging me down and making me question myself on things.

It all comes down to the fact that I need to sit and pray on things. I need to get myself to a place where I can set goals and be able to see where I want to be in 5 years. I know this isn't going to happen over night but I think that slowly but surely I will get to where I am supposed to be. If I wasn't on the right path things would be preventing me from moving forward at all...